WTF

Is it a lion, gorilla, bear? Just bring out a poop test and all will be revealed

20 August 2023 – 00:00

When those Nobel prize-winning scientists worked out the finer details of the DNA sequence of the human genome and that of every other creature on this Earth, I hope they had an idea that the discovery would be put to work for the betterment of humanity. Here we are, on the precipice of greatness, with the key and the key code to answer the big questions … from “who’s your daddy” to “the origin of species”. Here, in one sublime double helix, is the potential cure for dread diseases and a genetic disposition to sing. The code holds the ability to pre-empt and forestall genetically preprogrammed misery and it holds the answers to a million unsolved crimes, as well as the answer to the age-old questions: Did the postman really ring twice? Did our species really start in the Magaliesburg? Whose dog keeps on leaving a pile of steaming poop on the pavement?..